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'Let's abolish something': Italians parody election campaign promises

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'Let's abolish something': Italians parody election campaign promises
If Twitter users were elected, the socks-and-sandals combo would be outlawed. Photo: Federico Bezzi/Twitter
11:44 CET+01:00
It’s election season in Italy, and promises are cheap.

Want to go back to jobs for life? We’ll get rid of reforms. Think pensions were better in the old days? We’ll scrap the cuts. Sick of paying for a TV licence? Under us, it’s gone. Don’t want student debt? Bye bye, tuition fees. 

Politicians’ pledges to do away with anything and everything that voters don’t like have been flying thick and fast as the March 4th election looms.

In the past few weeks alone, the Democratic Party’s Matteo Renzi promised to scrap the television licence fee, Silvio Berlusconi said his Forza Italia party would cancel employment law reforms, Matteo Salvini of the Northern League swore he’d get rid of both pension cuts and compulsory vaccinations, while Pietro Grasso of the Free and Equal alliance declared that public universities would no longer charge tuition.

Taking the biscotto is the Five Star Movement, which created a dedicated website for voters to nominate the laws they’d most like to see abolished. The anti-establishment party says it has already received more than 130 suggestions and would aim to repeal 400 laws in its first year in power.

Italian voters are smart enough to take all this with a pinch of salt. In response to the rush to abolish, internet users this week created a pair of sarcastic hashtags, #AbolisciQualcosa and #AboliamoQualcosa – “abolish something”, “let’s abolish something” – and used them to share their own campaign promises, however far-fetched.

If Italian Twitter users had their way, phone calls in the cinema, selfies, vegan bolognese, Comic Sans and – shudder – socks and sandals would all be scrapped. They’ve got our vote. 

"People who touch you when talking. People who chew loudly. People who don't understand irony. People who shout on the train. People who push past you like you don't exist. People who are jealous. People."

"Ladies' sneakers with wedge heels"

"Seitan ragu"

"People who clap when the aeroplane lands"

"People whose mobile phone rings in a theatre/church/conference/meeting and, instead of being ashamed, they answer it"

"French carbonara"

"WhatsApp chats with parents"

"Over 75s driving"

 

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